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Hitler went to a fortune teller and asked her

daily-best-jokes:

“on what day will I die?” The fortune teller assured him that he would die on a Jewish holiday. “Why are you so sure of that?” demanded Hitler. “Any day”, she replied, “on which you die will be a Jewish holiday”.

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  • 3 years ago > daily-best-jokes
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twitblr:
“Listen to your kids
”
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twitblr:

Listen to your kids

(via jhavo-beans)

  • 3 years ago > twitblr
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dredsina:

dredsina:

dredsina:

dredsina:

dredsina:

dredsina:

YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS

one day this comic will reach a million notes and then i’m going to quit my job and become a couch

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Huh? What’s this? I don’t remember ordering something that big.

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Oh, it’s a sofa? I already have one, though…

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Hang on, my job sent me this? Is this some sort of bonus or something?

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Huh??? It’s empty?? Then why was it so heavy…

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Oh hang on what’s this?

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I’m not sure I can reach it…

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Oh crap!!!!

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Everyone who isn’t reblogging this version is a coward and a villain

(via spongebobssquarepants)

  • 3 years ago > dredsina
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cwote:
“This can be a considerably difficult thing to do, especially if you truly care about the person. But at the end of the day, relationships take commitment from both parties. If they aren’t adding to you and your happiness, let go.
”
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cwote:

This can be a considerably difficult thing to do, especially if you truly care about the person. But at the end of the day, relationships take commitment from both parties. If they aren’t adding to you and your happiness, let go. 

(via psych2go)

Source: cwote.co

  • 3 years ago > cwote
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buttonpoetry:

“I suffer from unrequited self love. I love myself, but I don’t love myself back.”

— Andrea Gibson, "Diagnosis”

  • 3 years ago > buttonpoetry
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blvckgeezus:

femalerappers:

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Lmfaooooooooo this says it all 😂

(via pikamans)

Source: instagram.com

  • 3 years ago > femalerappers
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spongebobssquarepants:

that-dumb-bipolar-gay-bitch:

bitcheslovepearls:

lperezidente:

animusrox:

Dude in the green shirt is a whole ass mood

“You’re in direct violation of being a jackass”

this is an episode of parks and rec, it has to be.

I can already imagine Leslie’s reaction!

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(via pikamans)

  • 3 years ago > animusrox
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(via jhavo-beans)

  • 3 years ago > whitepeopletwitter
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theelovelyyboness:

eyeofscottie:

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instagram.

I love this. I’m all for these types of friendships but I think most ppl think anything intimate is too far but friends can do these things too

(via jhavo-beans)

  • 3 years ago > eyeofscottie
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avalonburst:

no offens but people being overworked to death in industries like animation and making video games is a huge issue… like holy shit i’d prefer my favorite anime being delayed or a video game’s release being a bit late if it means people don’t suffer under intense conditions and stress

(via jhavo-beans)

  • 3 years ago > shiroufacemoved-deactivated2019
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